Are You An Engineer?

By Anand on Sat, 14/May/2022 - 18:09 pm
  • 2 views

You Might Be An Engineer...

  • If you introduce your wife as "[email protected]"
  • If your spouse sends you an e-mail instead of calling you to dinner
  • If you can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie
  • If you want an 8X CDROM for Christmas
  • If Dilbert is your hero *** <----- ***
  • If you stare at an orange juice container because it says CONCENTRATE
  • If you can name 6 Star Trek episodes
  • If the only jokes you receive are through e-mail
  • If your wrist watch has more computing power than a 486DX-50
  • If your idea of good interpersonal communication means getting the decimal point in the right place
  • If you look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids' toys
  • If you use a CAD package to design your son's Pine Wood Derby car
  • If you have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than hanging coats and taping ducts
  • If, at Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to find the burnt-out bulb in the string
  • If you window shop at Radio Shack
  • If your ideal evening consists of fast-forwarding through the latest sci-fi movie looking for technical inaccuracies
  • If you have "Dilbert" comics displayed anywhere in your work area
  • If you carry on a one-hour debate over the expected results of a test that actually takes five minutes to run
  • If you are convinced you can build a phazer out of your garage door opener and your camera's flash attachment
  • If you don't even know where the cover to your personal computer is
  • If you have modified your can-opener to be microprocessor driven
  • If you know the direction the water swirls when you flush
  • If you own "Official Star Trek" anything
  • If you have ever taken the back off your TV just to see what's inside
  • If a team of you and your co-workers have set out to modify the antenna on the radio in your work area for better reception
  • If you ever burned down the gymnasium with your Science Fair project
  • If you are currently gathering the components to build your own nuclear reactor
  • If you own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts
  • If you have never backed-up your hard drive
  • If you are aware that computers are actually only good for playing games, but are afraid to say it out loud
  • If you truly believe aliens are living among us
  • If you have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance
  • If you have ever purchased an electronic appliance "as-is"
  • If you see a good design and still have to change it
  • If the salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions
  • If you still own a slide rule and you know how to work it
  • If the thought that a CD could refer to finance or music never enters your mind
  • If you own a set of itty-bitty screw drivers, but you don't remember where they are
  • If you rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile tires
  • If you have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you own turns bread into charcoal
  • If you have more toys than your kids
  • If you need a checklist to turn on the TV
  • If you have introduced your kids by the wrong name
  • If you have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work
  • If your I.Q. number is bigger than your weight
  • If the microphone or visual aids at a meeting don't work and you rush up to the front to fix it
  • If you can remember 7 computer passwords but not your anniversary
  • If you have memorized the program schedule for the Discovery channel and have seen most of the shows already
  • If you have ever owned a calculator with no equal key and know what RPN stands for
  • If your father sat 2 inches in front of your family's first color TV with a magnifying lens to see how they made the colors, and you grew up thinking that was normal
  • If you know how to take the cover off of your computer, and what size screw driver to use
  • If you can type 70 words a minute but can't read your own handwriting
  • If people groan at the party when you pick out the music
  • If you can't remember where you parked your car for the 3rd time this week
  • If you did the sound system for your senior prom
  • if your checkbook always balances
  • if your wristwatch has more buttons than a telephone
  • If you have more friends on the Internet than in real life
  • If you thought the real heroes of "Apollo 13" were the mission controllers
  • If you think that when people around you yawn, it's because they didn't get enough sleep
  • If you spend more on your home computer than your car
  • If you know what http:/ stands for
  • If you've ever tried to repair a $5.00 radio
  • If you have a neatly sorted collection of old bolts and nuts in your garage
  • If your three year old son asks why the sky is blue and you try to explain atmospheric absorption theory
  • If your 4 basic food groups are: 1. Caffeine 2. Fat 3. Sugar 4. Chocolate
  • If choosing to buy flowers for your girlfriend or upgrading your RAM is a moral dilemma.
  • If you take a cruise so you can go on a personal tour of the engine room.
  • If while in college you thought Spring Break was metal fatigue failure.
  • If the sales people at the local computer store can't answer any of your questions.
  • If at an air show you know how fast the skydivers are falling.
  • If you bought your wife a new CD-ROM drive for her birthday.
  • If you can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie.
  • If you can type 70 words per minute but can't read your own handwriting.
  • If you comment to your wife that their straight hair is nice and parallel.
  • If you sit backwards on the Disneyland rides to see how they do the special effects.
  • If you have saved every power cord from all your broken appliances.
  • If you have more friends on the Internet than in real life.
  • If you know what stands for.
  • If you look forward to Christmas so you can put the kids' toys together.
  • If you see a good design and still have to change it.
  • If you spent more on your calculator than you did on your wedding ring.
  • If you still own a slide rule and know how to use it.
  • If you think that people yawning around you are sleep deprived.
  • If you window shop at Radio Shack
  • If your laptop computer costs more than your car.
  • If your wife hasn't the foggiest idea of what you do at work.
  • If you've already calculated how much you make per second.
  • If you've tried to repair a $5 radio.
  • If you have no life - and you can PROVE it mathematically.
  • If you know vector calculus but you can't remember how to do long division.
  • If you've actually used every single function on your graphing calculator.
  • If it is sunny and 70 degrees outside, and you are working on a computer.
  • If you know how to integrate a chicken and can take the derivative of water.
  • If you think in "math."
  • If you have a pet named after a scientist.
  • If you laugh at jokes about mathematicians.
  • If the Humane society has you arrested because you actually performed the Schrodinger's Cat experiment.
  • If you can translate English into Binary.
  • If you can't remember what's behind the door in the science building which says "Exit."
  • If you are completely addicted to caffeine.
  • If you consider ANY non-science course "easy."
  • If when your professor asks you where your homework is, you claim to have accidentally determined its momentum so precisely, that according to Heisenberg it could be anywhere in the universe.
  • If the "fun" center of your brain has deteriorated from lack of use.
  • If you'll assume that a "horse" is a "sphere" in order to make the math easier.
  • If you understood more than five of these indicators.
  • If you make a hard copy of this list, and post it on your door.